Have you ever seen Blue Mountain State?
If you’re a guy the answer is probably yes. If you’re a guy whose favourite past time is drinking, sporting and staring at cleavage, the answer is definitely yes.
Either way, If you have seen it, you know that the entire premise of the show is football, partying and sex. Love is in no way an aspect. And the wisdom taken away? (You don’t come to college in a relationship). The idea is that if you do, you’ll miss out on all the drinking… partying… and SEX.
Even my dad enforced this idea, starting off by telling me that I would meet a lot of new people and then proceeding to illustrate how much fun he had when he was my age. “You know when I first started college I got a bartending job at the keg. I had fun. 4 guys and 25 girls” *laughs*. My mom threw her opinion out once or twice too, simply suggesting that I might miss out on some experiences. Not being able to go out “because I have a boyfriend”. Saying no to dates “because I have a boyfriend”. You know, the great university experience- all that fun you’re supposed to have before you actually settle down.
As is the great logic of our society, to see what’s out there before choosing “the one”. All the while acknowledging that there are multiple “ones” for each of us. Multiple soulmates. So really, there is no reason to tie yourself down so early.
Here’s what I have to say.
Yes, partying can be fun. And dating can be fun. But those things don’t change the world for the better. Love does. And love isn’t easy. Those things are easy. So if you have the opportunity to love someone, to look at a person and see nothing but light when you do, then you definitely shouldn’t throw it away for fear of missing out on new experiences. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to everyone. If it isn’t truly love, and often it isn’t, then, by all means, allow yourself the opportunity to really find it, even if that means being alone for a while.
So I repeat, forget the stereotype of the great university experience because frankly loving another human being is so much more enriching. Being loved by another human being is SO much more enriching. People say what they will but I know that I’m not going to miss out on anything. Hell, I’m going to experience A LOT of new things this year. The only difference is I’ll be sharing each of them with one important person rather than a bunch of temporary ones. Someone that I love AND makes me love myself.