“You Don’t Run Dome?”

Run= steal, Dome= Blow job (defined as a common phrase which is used as a more social way to say ‘give me head’“). So…you really don’t run dome? What? Like…you don’t give head?  asked the sexually repressed boy that I had just began dating.*sigh*
Should there be any time to get in touch with your sexuality, first year of University would be it. You’re old enough (depending on your comfort level) to responsibly explore your options but young enough to still make impulsive and sometimes stupid decisions. Besides that you’re also exposed to a completely new environment and surrounded by massive amounts of completely new people. Needless to say, exploring my own sexuality was a large part of what I did this year and I learned a lot as a result. One of my biggest take aways? I still  don’t like giving blow jobs. Not to say that I absolutely hate providing oral. I will under the right circumstances, but unlike a lot of girls that I’ve heard from, I don’t enjoy doing it. I never have.

Some people say that they absolutely love doing it.
What i’ve heard from them is that they…
a) like the power of being able to make a guy cum at will
b) get off on getting their partner off
c) are more comfortable with oral then penetrative sex

I had heard this in high school too.- the comfort thing.There was a system of sorts (an order) by which a girl experienced her first sexual encounters that went something like this. order

It was the apparent general consensus that oral sex came before penetrative. So when I told the girls in grade twelve that I was no longer a virgin but had also never given a blow job, they were stunned. It seemed to them that I had cheated by skipping an essential step. However my response was simple- I was more comfortable with the concept of sex itself then giving head. It’s not even a question the way I see it- the penetrative object in concern (a.k.a. a penis) is going to be inside your body regardless. Either it’s between your legs combined with rather discreet hip movements, or it’s very obviously in your mouth. Using that logic, oral sex seems a lot more intimate to me then penetrative sex and I stand by that belief to this day.

Now, my former high school perspective has developed slightly, in the sense that I can do it if I want to. Which I say because there was a point when I was so nervous that I couldn’t bring myself to do it at all. Imagine the first time it happened, I was breathing heavily under the covers and my heart was racing because I so badly wanted to be able to do it but was utterly terrified. Maybe I was afraid of doing it wrong or being bad at it? I wasn’t sure how to begin so when it actually came time, I froze, and stared blankly at the guys penis for at least three minutes.The second time it happened, or maybe third, I gagged and all about threw up on the same dudes stomach.

So yeah, I was pretty much ready to never have to do it again. But like I said, under the right circumstances I will want to do it. Not during a one night stand, absolutely not. However when I’m in a relationship with someone or have otherwise built up a capacity to care about them, I want to be able to share that added pleasure. So the life lesson? Do whatever makes you most comfortable regardless of what you already know about sex. After all, my body and what I choose to do with it, is exactly that, mine. 

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